I know, right? Last Friday night we took the kids to Disney on Ice and had a wonderful time. We ate at the fair beforehand and bought all kinds of sugary, sticky, not so good for you stuff at the event. All of the kids enjoyed seeing Cars, Mickey Minnie, and Tinkerbell. Even Channing (7 months old) could appreciate the sounds and lights. I know you are screaming at your computer, "that's nice, but where does the sexing come in?" Oh, I will get to that my friends, but I needed to illustrate the innocence that once was. And by once was, I mean just last week. Ok, back to the icecapades. We had finished the show, two of the three were nearly sawing logs in the stroller, and we began our hike back to the car. Cadan, the only one coherent enough to make conversation, explained that he had enjoyed the show, but that he enjoyed more being able to take his two younger sisters to see the show....I know, awwwwww!
So, now flash-forward to Monday night. As a family we are congregated in our living room. The television is on, but muted. I had a Homecoming planning meeting to attend that evening and was getting some family lovin' in before I had to leave. Cadan looks at the TV, sees Jenna Elfman on her new show go into a room with some other guy. He proceeds to say, "OHHH, I know what they are going to do!" Insert sound of crashing car here!! JW and I look at one another and want to climb into the couch cushions. I ask Cadan, in my most 1950's June Cleaver voice.....What are you talking about Cadan? He replies, "You know, starts with an S and ends with EX!" He really has come a long way with this whole spelling thing, but I am thinking to myself that wasn't a spelling word on Mrs. Stewart's list. Are your mouths hanging to the floor; because, at this point mine was! He proceeds to tell us exactly what he thinks this thing that starts with an S and ends in EX is. He also mentions that teenagers do it while their parents are out of town.
I'm sure you can imagine the sickness that was welling up in my stomach and I had to be at a meeting in T minus 15 minutes. I look at JW and say, "This is a son/ DAD issue and I will be home shortly. Don't judge me! I just couldn't "bare" the thought of explaining this very adult concept to my baby that loved the Cars characters the other night. On my way to my meeting, I am calling anyone that will listen. I am simultaneously sending directions to JW via text. My directions went something like this, NO penis No vagina talk...keep it simple! I am happy to report that he did very well and took Chelsea's advice, my sister. He explained that the thing that starts with an S and ends in EX is a gift from God that allows married people to love in a special way. That, believe it or not, actually seemed to be enough for Cadan at this point in time.
Come to find out a boy at Cadan's school has taken it upon himself to educate the boys during bathroom breaks! While I appreciate Cadan's commitment to listen at school, this is one lesson we could have done without for a few years! I hate that as parents we work so hard to only provide relevant and age appropriate information and that one bathroom break could threaten his innocence. It really broke my heart. I want my kids to be kids and this incident only reaffirmed to me how important it is to maintain an open line of communication so I can monitor when that is being threatened. I'm sure this will not be the only time Cadan learns something in the boys' bathroom; however, I hope next time he is an adult and writing down some girl's number, like a normal, well-adjusted man!
Yes, I said that! Laugh! One must keep a sense of humor while raising children. Laughing may be the only thing separates me from a jail cell in a maximum security prison...laugh!